Ya know, I think you could be on to something! Any G in Georgia better be red, or ya get tabacky spit in yer eye!
Rise of the Turd-burban
- Thread starter Nooj
- Start date
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You must be in marketing or management!
I would gladly have shipped the air horn at no expense to you, but it was defective and I’ve already trashed it!
I should’ve kept the metal horns, dern! I could’ve made a fart enhancing butt trumpet.
JGinLA
Member
Nooj, you have a book or sitcom script lurking inside you. I'm guessing you have other stories to tell.
He needs to spread his personality around the rest of the forum and give @iamdub some wit competition.
iamdub
Full Access Member
Last edited:
I see a "buddy comedy" here at the forum coming soon.....
Retired automotive service manager. I am used to asking for things that others don't dare ask for or about.
Well gents- I’ve had a long, hard, throbbing day. I set out with a gleam in my eye, a dip in my lip, and some still unknown bothersome thing in my shoe.
I was sad, because it’s Saturday and I’m not working (that’s not the sad part!) but I’ll be darned if the weather wasn’t crappy! ALWAYS when you got stuff to do, gah!!
It’s ok, I was gonna make the best of it. Between showers I managed to get the non blinker mirror (henceforth referred to as NBM) off the turd. Turns out, the one I picked up at the junkyard has a completely different electrical setup! Two plugs? Jeez, probably has an onboard control module or something (I bet the new model trucks do!).
That’s the two from the new mirror, compared to the trusty ol simple one from the old NBM.
I was lucky enough to find a pin-out for the new and old mirrors, which honestly, it ended up being all the same colors matched up. Yeah, a real brain buster! But- it has the blinker wire info, which was def needed! “Def” is the word lazy people use when they mean definitely. It also means “diesel exhaust fluid” which is a rip off, and mostly made of pee.
Back to the action!
There it is- the fusion of old and new coming together like some sort of streamlined thing. Thankfully, I had my soldering iron/work station available for the task. It’s a high end unit, you can tell because it’s made in China. The small metal box was in front of the hot air wand to keep it from burning my workbench. Dern thing is supposed to stop blowing when you put it in the cradle (did I mention it’s from China?).
Long story short- got the mirror in, blinker works, power adjust still don’t.
I guess I’ll troubleshoot that… but then I hear the sound of angels behind me! The screech of brakes and rattle of suspension could only be one thing- a heavy laden vehicle that travels far and wide, delivering toys to all the boys and girls of the land, like Santa himself. The UPS truck you ask? NO! Even more rare than that- FedEx with an on time delivery!!
It was the last pieces I needed to start my brake upgrade!
I feel like a saint had smiled upon me, the clouds parted, the sun came out.
It was gonna be a good weekend after all.
Nooj
I was sad, because it’s Saturday and I’m not working (that’s not the sad part!) but I’ll be darned if the weather wasn’t crappy! ALWAYS when you got stuff to do, gah!!
It’s ok, I was gonna make the best of it. Between showers I managed to get the non blinker mirror (henceforth referred to as NBM) off the turd. Turns out, the one I picked up at the junkyard has a completely different electrical setup! Two plugs? Jeez, probably has an onboard control module or something (I bet the new model trucks do!).
That’s the two from the new mirror, compared to the trusty ol simple one from the old NBM.
I was lucky enough to find a pin-out for the new and old mirrors, which honestly, it ended up being all the same colors matched up. Yeah, a real brain buster! But- it has the blinker wire info, which was def needed! “Def” is the word lazy people use when they mean definitely. It also means “diesel exhaust fluid” which is a rip off, and mostly made of pee.
Back to the action!
There it is- the fusion of old and new coming together like some sort of streamlined thing. Thankfully, I had my soldering iron/work station available for the task. It’s a high end unit, you can tell because it’s made in China. The small metal box was in front of the hot air wand to keep it from burning my workbench. Dern thing is supposed to stop blowing when you put it in the cradle (did I mention it’s from China?).
Long story short- got the mirror in, blinker works, power adjust still don’t.
I guess I’ll troubleshoot that… but then I hear the sound of angels behind me! The screech of brakes and rattle of suspension could only be one thing- a heavy laden vehicle that travels far and wide, delivering toys to all the boys and girls of the land, like Santa himself. The UPS truck you ask? NO! Even more rare than that- FedEx with an on time delivery!!
It was the last pieces I needed to start my brake upgrade!
I feel like a saint had smiled upon me, the clouds parted, the sun came out.
It was gonna be a good weekend after all.
Nooj
That “Saint” that smiled upon me must’ve been Lucifer himself, cuz it was hot as hades today.
I fought with them front brakes for so long today, and thinking back I can’t remember why… I guess I was just in a fighting mood, I dunno.
I wish I had the fortune of having a large enough garage or a shop to work on my stuff, to be out of the rain and hot sun. But, as my wise ol daddy always said- “Son, you can want in one hand, and crap in the other, and see which gets full first.” I’ve only tried the wishing part.
Now- get a load of these bad boys!!
I used engine paint. They were out of periwinkle, so I got the next best thing: Detroit Diesel Alpine Green!
Had I known what a pain it would be to clean and paint these, I wouldn’t have done anything at all to them. They should make skillets out of old brake calipers- nothing would stick to it! Not tape, probably not my paint. That’s why I took that picture- A picture is forever, a painted caliper, not so much.
Everybody likes the old vs new comparison pic!! The 2020 rotors are so much beefier than the old ones. At least an inch taller- probably three (by fisherman’s scale). The old ones had at least a 1/16” deep wear groove in each side!! They was fugly.
Speaking of fugly- check out my jounce doodads compared to the new ones
That’s the front,
Here’s the rear bump stops
Wasn’t much left of the old ones... These things remind me of the Kong dog chew things. Some poor sap was probably working on his turd-Burban when his dog ate his jounce bumper. A light bulb came on in his mind, and now he’s a millionaire selling repurposed car part designs as dog chews (a probably more expensive than the car part!)
By the way- the brakes on the rear looked so good, I didn’t do anything but change the brake hose! Yeah, I’ll save these new rotors and pads for the rear til they’re needed.
Out of the massive random collection of washers I have, I only put together enough for one side on the front, for the caliper spacing. And it still isn’t exact. Folks said they used 1/8” spaces and the same bolts; NOT in my case! I had to get half inch longer bolts to have full thread engagement with the caliper, and I have 1/4” space in there. There’s about .011 difference in the space from one side to the other, caliper to rotor clearance. Is that enough to worry about??
Also- my dang wheels don’t fit the new brakes! HAHA!! I’m researching stock rims that will fit now, and will report once I have some on hand.
Just like my turd-burban, I’m pooped!
I’ll catch you guys on the flip side.
I’m starting 12 hour night shifts tomorrow night, so I probably won’t make much progress this week….
Til next time, don’t let your ******-dangle dangle in the dirt.
Nooj
I fought with them front brakes for so long today, and thinking back I can’t remember why… I guess I was just in a fighting mood, I dunno.
I wish I had the fortune of having a large enough garage or a shop to work on my stuff, to be out of the rain and hot sun. But, as my wise ol daddy always said- “Son, you can want in one hand, and crap in the other, and see which gets full first.” I’ve only tried the wishing part.
Now- get a load of these bad boys!!
I used engine paint. They were out of periwinkle, so I got the next best thing: Detroit Diesel Alpine Green!
Had I known what a pain it would be to clean and paint these, I wouldn’t have done anything at all to them. They should make skillets out of old brake calipers- nothing would stick to it! Not tape, probably not my paint. That’s why I took that picture- A picture is forever, a painted caliper, not so much.
Everybody likes the old vs new comparison pic!! The 2020 rotors are so much beefier than the old ones. At least an inch taller- probably three (by fisherman’s scale). The old ones had at least a 1/16” deep wear groove in each side!! They was fugly.
Speaking of fugly- check out my jounce doodads compared to the new ones
That’s the front,
Here’s the rear bump stops
Wasn’t much left of the old ones... These things remind me of the Kong dog chew things. Some poor sap was probably working on his turd-Burban when his dog ate his jounce bumper. A light bulb came on in his mind, and now he’s a millionaire selling repurposed car part designs as dog chews (a probably more expensive than the car part!)
By the way- the brakes on the rear looked so good, I didn’t do anything but change the brake hose! Yeah, I’ll save these new rotors and pads for the rear til they’re needed.
Out of the massive random collection of washers I have, I only put together enough for one side on the front, for the caliper spacing. And it still isn’t exact. Folks said they used 1/8” spaces and the same bolts; NOT in my case! I had to get half inch longer bolts to have full thread engagement with the caliper, and I have 1/4” space in there. There’s about .011 difference in the space from one side to the other, caliper to rotor clearance. Is that enough to worry about??
Also- my dang wheels don’t fit the new brakes! HAHA!! I’m researching stock rims that will fit now, and will report once I have some on hand.
Just like my turd-burban, I’m pooped!
I’ll catch you guys on the flip side.
I’m starting 12 hour night shifts tomorrow night, so I probably won’t make much progress this week….
Til next time, don’t let your ******-dangle dangle in the dirt.
Nooj
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