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Uh,..... I think we are getting off subject...... 
Woman took my car... civil issue... trying to get it back
- Thread starter fixmycar
- Start date
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Thread drift. It happens.Uh,..... I think we are getting off subject......
...so proposed order is awaiting judge to sign-off...
Still not sure what happens at the final hearing... I guess I'll find out in due time.
Basically 1 phone call a day, time limited to 10 mins at 5pm.
Even years, she gets Thanksgiving, starting when school recesses and I get XMAS...
Odd years it reverses.
There is nothing for summer break at this time or anything else.
She can't even follow a phone call at this point. Refusing to answer and then trying to get me to do a video call, so she can do that when our daughter is with me. In the future I might allow that but she's trying to control our daughter.
Our daughter is 5 and she doesn't know always what to say on the phone and she looks to me when she doesn't know what to say...
Her mother gives her a hard time telling her to stop looking away etc, when she's just 5... she doesn't remember what she had to eat or what she did sometimes or she just wants me to explain to her mother, but I can't talk to her. Then if my daughter doesn't speak, because well, she's 5 and she doesn't always talk, she says did someone say you can't talk... daddy can't tell you not to talk.
Which is sad, and I can't control what she does, but my lawyer did say I can immediately end those calls. It's frustrating because I want her to talk to her mother...she's done other things like lie to her and say she's picking her up earlier in the week, and just being condescending to me while trying to act like she's being nice.
My lawyer said follow the order and don't accept calls outside of the window or let calls go well past 10 mins.. i.e. 15 is fine, 20+... shouldn't be happening at this point.
The point is to give our child structure, routine and to understand she needs to listen to her parents. She listens to me, but the other half is trying to give her a phone to use as she pleases, which is super frustrating as she's trying to make me look like I'm the bad person who won't allow her to use a phone to call when she wants. It will be OK....she will be with me for almost the next 2 weeks. =)
She's already back to the routine I had for her months ago and she's acting more and more like a normal 5 year old!
Still not sure what happens at the final hearing... I guess I'll find out in due time.
Basically 1 phone call a day, time limited to 10 mins at 5pm.
Even years, she gets Thanksgiving, starting when school recesses and I get XMAS...
Odd years it reverses.
There is nothing for summer break at this time or anything else.
She can't even follow a phone call at this point. Refusing to answer and then trying to get me to do a video call, so she can do that when our daughter is with me. In the future I might allow that but she's trying to control our daughter.
Our daughter is 5 and she doesn't know always what to say on the phone and she looks to me when she doesn't know what to say...
Her mother gives her a hard time telling her to stop looking away etc, when she's just 5... she doesn't remember what she had to eat or what she did sometimes or she just wants me to explain to her mother, but I can't talk to her. Then if my daughter doesn't speak, because well, she's 5 and she doesn't always talk, she says did someone say you can't talk... daddy can't tell you not to talk.
Which is sad, and I can't control what she does, but my lawyer did say I can immediately end those calls. It's frustrating because I want her to talk to her mother...she's done other things like lie to her and say she's picking her up earlier in the week, and just being condescending to me while trying to act like she's being nice.
My lawyer said follow the order and don't accept calls outside of the window or let calls go well past 10 mins.. i.e. 15 is fine, 20+... shouldn't be happening at this point.
The point is to give our child structure, routine and to understand she needs to listen to her parents. She listens to me, but the other half is trying to give her a phone to use as she pleases, which is super frustrating as she's trying to make me look like I'm the bad person who won't allow her to use a phone to call when she wants. It will be OK....she will be with me for almost the next 2 weeks. =)
She's already back to the routine I had for her months ago and she's acting more and more like a normal 5 year old!
She’s trying to give her a phone so she can go behind your back to talk shit about you to her when you don’t know it’s happening. She is 5, you have custody and you can say no. But even that is something your ex will use against you by telling her you’re mean because you won’t let her have it. What a *****.
Yeah my lawyer said, you don't answer calls outside of the time window and no judge would allow a 5 yr old to have a phone to make calls as they choose. Yep she is... It won't help her, but in her mind it will. I just follow what my attorney say. It's worked out so far!
Dinner drama?? wtf...
cfmistry
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Treat every phone call like she’s recording them and will play them in court. She probably is. You should do the same.
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.... " Take my car,... PLEASE !!! "
I do... It's a nightmare... just want a quick 10 min call... especially when she's just gone for a few days and back with me for almost 2 weeks.
She's the one who should be worried, I don't get a chance to get much in, before my calls are cut-off, not on time, no answers etc and we just started. It's not that big of deal to me, because I'll make the calls and let my daughter talk and then if she gets mouthy or starts getting out of scope, I hang up, as per my lawyer recommended.
Have things gotten any better for you/your daughter?
Yes and no...
Yes, because she's with me the majority of the time, we have a great schedule, structure, bedtimes, routines, have a lot of fun together etc.
The bad...
Mother shows up at school and sees daughter each morning when I drop her off... sees her last before school, gives her lunch etc
I think it's a violation of the DVI... working the issue with lawyer
Also making major medical decisions (therapy) without my consent... working that issue as well and I believe the therapist is stopping after I made it clear my lawyer was about to get involved. Still waiting on the detailed notes, she denied me initially until I followed back up sternly.
Continues to post about me on social media... addressing that as well
Filed contempt against me within 10 days.. nothing in it, probably not going to make the judge happy, nothing I can do about that.
She's appealing the order... that's her right, we shall see what happens.
Continually sends me parenting messages almost demanding 50/50 custody and it's in the best interest of our daughter, she's upset etc...
I don't respond except the occasional, she doesn't act how you mentioned in my care, doesn't do those things etc.
The mother is the one who makes up these lies or upsets my daughter by crying when she's around, making up things, false promises etc.
My phone calls don't happen when she's not with me at the scheduled time... it's random... 20-30 mins before, 20-120 mins after, even though I'm the one who does the outreach for all calls.
We are going to address that, as a specific time is in the order unless we both agree. We obviously can't. I've suggested moving up calls as she says it interferes with her schedule. The issue is, she still wouldn't answer or call at that new time.
So... Good she's with me, but I fully expect nothing to ever change. I dealt with her long enough and I see the exact same things she did with her son.
So that's the update for now.. nothing really scheduled on the books yet. She's still awaiting her criminal hearing for the initial DVI violation.
At this point just stay the path, do as best I can etc. I will say, being a single parent is a lot of work
I don't mind it, but now that I'm doing it, I give more props to other single parents, especially if you have more than 1 kid!
At this point just stay the path, do as best I can etc. I will say, being a single parent is a lot of work
I don't mind it, but now that I'm doing it, I give more props to other single parents, especially if you have more than 1 kid!
There are a lot of single parents out there, which would lead me to believe there are probably lots of support groups out there. If you haven't already, look for one of those. You never know, you might learn something.
Good luck. REad all these pages, I hope things continue to improve.
Tonyrodz
Resident Resident
I was a single parent with 2 kids. Your sacrifices will pay off one day. Just make sure you never put any woman ahead of your daughter. Hopefully your daughter's "mother" will get bored and leave you guys alone. Good luck to you and your daughter.Yes and no...
Yes, because she's with me the majority of the time, we have a great schedule, structure, bedtimes, routines, have a lot of fun together etc.
The bad...
Mother shows up at school and sees daughter each morning when I drop her off... sees her last before school, gives her lunch etc
I think it's a violation of the DVI... working the issue with lawyer
Also making major medical decisions (therapy) without my consent... working that issue as well and I believe the therapist is stopping after I made it clear my lawyer was about to get involved. Still waiting on the detailed notes, she denied me initially until I followed back up sternly.
Continues to post about me on social media... addressing that as well
Filed contempt against me within 10 days.. nothing in it, probably not going to make the judge happy, nothing I can do about that.
She's appealing the order... that's her right, we shall see what happens.
Continually sends me parenting messages almost demanding 50/50 custody and it's in the best interest of our daughter, she's upset etc...
I don't respond except the occasional, she doesn't act how you mentioned in my care, doesn't do those things etc.
The mother is the one who makes up these lies or upsets my daughter by crying when she's around, making up things, false promises etc.
My phone calls don't happen when she's not with me at the scheduled time... it's random... 20-30 mins before, 20-120 mins after, even though I'm the one who does the outreach for all calls.
We are going to address that, as a specific time is in the order unless we both agree. We obviously can't. I've suggested moving up calls as she says it interferes with her schedule. The issue is, she still wouldn't answer or call at that new time.
So... Good she's with me, but I fully expect nothing to ever change. I dealt with her long enough and I see the exact same things she did with her son.
So that's the update for now.. nothing really scheduled on the books yet. She's still awaiting her criminal hearing for the initial DVI violation.
At this point just stay the path, do as best I can etc. I will say, being a single parent is a lot of work
I don't mind it, but now that I'm doing it, I give more props to other single parents, especially if you have more than 1 kid!
been awhile.. here's an update...
I've come to the realization she is a narcissist. Most likely a covert one but also malignant narcissist with histrionic, and borderline personality disorder to boot.
Go look that up on the internet.
Some of the things she does/is:
Pathological liar
Blames everyone but herself for any and all issues
Is vengeful to no end
Doesn't care what harm she causes to get to her end goal
Blows up at a seconds notice
Gaslights you < Means makes up repeated false claims over and over, which is similar to a pathological liar, so you end up second guessing yourself...
So after I've come to this understanding, I was able to petition the court for a court order therapist to evaluate us. The judge decided it was in the best interest for one to be appointed and so the process began.
To make a long story short, I showed up promptly on 3 occasions to go through the mental evaluation process. It's basically answering 1500 questions, and a lot are repetitive or similar in nature. Apparently I'm normal and I am able to function properly and I have structure and follow social norms.
She was found to have histrionic issues and a inflated sense of self worth. Pretty much spot on to who she is in real life. Feel free to look up the terms I used above or watch videos to learn more.
So after the therapist evaluated us both she sent the report back to our lawyers.
The "recommendation" to the judge is as follows:
She would get her ever 21 days on the weekend only. Sharing Thanksgiving and splitting XMAS break and rotating each year.
She would also get 14 days of vacation which could be split up in (2) 7 day increments.
No, I'm skeptical because since my last posting, this woman has done everything imaginable to ruin my life, destroy me, and I do mean the worst of the worst. Luckily everything has so far turned out OK, but I am just waiting for the next ball to drop and see what she comes up with this time.
I'm happy the judge was aware of this type of evaluation and apparently it's rare in our area, but he knows about it and was happy to have an expert weigh in. Now, it comes down to what he decides in court and after testimony from witnesses.
Thought I'd stop in and let people know what was going on. It's draining, it's tiring and it's impossible to co-parent with a narcissist. It could be raining cats and dogs and they would say, it's sunny outside. You could record them saying Yes 10 times in a row and they would swear up and down they said No each time. It's pointless to try to co-parent, and you just do you best to "not engage" them. It's a learning process, it's tough and I know she's constantly trying to get me to react or engage with her, but that's what feeds her. She lives for drama, she lives for conflict and she lives for constant attention, no matter where it comes from.
Hope this helps someone... The cost was around $10k, but I know some can go as high as $25k or up to $50k depending on the issues at hand and length of time. We had a short window due to the nature of the calendar for trial, but it has been worth it as many people see who she really is, and the fake persona she gives through social media, is a nothing but a facade (fake) projection, that I hope is finally catching up to her.
I've come to the realization she is a narcissist. Most likely a covert one but also malignant narcissist with histrionic, and borderline personality disorder to boot.
Go look that up on the internet.
Some of the things she does/is:
Pathological liar
Blames everyone but herself for any and all issues
Is vengeful to no end
Doesn't care what harm she causes to get to her end goal
Blows up at a seconds notice
Gaslights you < Means makes up repeated false claims over and over, which is similar to a pathological liar, so you end up second guessing yourself...
So after I've come to this understanding, I was able to petition the court for a court order therapist to evaluate us. The judge decided it was in the best interest for one to be appointed and so the process began.
To make a long story short, I showed up promptly on 3 occasions to go through the mental evaluation process. It's basically answering 1500 questions, and a lot are repetitive or similar in nature. Apparently I'm normal and I am able to function properly and I have structure and follow social norms.
She was found to have histrionic issues and a inflated sense of self worth. Pretty much spot on to who she is in real life. Feel free to look up the terms I used above or watch videos to learn more.
So after the therapist evaluated us both she sent the report back to our lawyers.
The "recommendation" to the judge is as follows:
She would get her ever 21 days on the weekend only. Sharing Thanksgiving and splitting XMAS break and rotating each year.
She would also get 14 days of vacation which could be split up in (2) 7 day increments.
No, I'm skeptical because since my last posting, this woman has done everything imaginable to ruin my life, destroy me, and I do mean the worst of the worst. Luckily everything has so far turned out OK, but I am just waiting for the next ball to drop and see what she comes up with this time.
I'm happy the judge was aware of this type of evaluation and apparently it's rare in our area, but he knows about it and was happy to have an expert weigh in. Now, it comes down to what he decides in court and after testimony from witnesses.
Thought I'd stop in and let people know what was going on. It's draining, it's tiring and it's impossible to co-parent with a narcissist. It could be raining cats and dogs and they would say, it's sunny outside. You could record them saying Yes 10 times in a row and they would swear up and down they said No each time. It's pointless to try to co-parent, and you just do you best to "not engage" them. It's a learning process, it's tough and I know she's constantly trying to get me to react or engage with her, but that's what feeds her. She lives for drama, she lives for conflict and she lives for constant attention, no matter where it comes from.
Hope this helps someone... The cost was around $10k, but I know some can go as high as $25k or up to $50k depending on the issues at hand and length of time. We had a short window due to the nature of the calendar for trial, but it has been worth it as many people see who she really is, and the fake persona she gives through social media, is a nothing but a facade (fake) projection, that I hope is finally catching up to her.
Dude, so sorry you got mixed up with her and even worse had a kid with her. I had a long term relationship with a woman with most of those traits. I got lucky and was able to get away from her but it wasn’t easy and it took a long time. I didn’t have any kids with her, luckily although I did end up taking care of one of hers after she turned 18. I ended up having the police remove her from my home. She has been homeless for the last few years after using about a dozen men after me over a 4 year period until she couldn’t find another one I guess. She’s the reason, or final straw I guess, as to why I’m single today. I’m too old to take another chance and trust another one. I’d rather not be attached anymore. It’s way easier.
For some reason I don't get notifications...
Yes, I'm not too old yet, but it feels like I've aged 20 years sometimes... I hear you there, I enjoy being single for now and my daughter is #1 priority and she takes up a lot of time. I'm not sure how single parents do it without help.
I've learned a lot... The best advice is to engage as little as possible and document everything in writing or have witnesses.
The good thing is my daughter is doing great. Super Dad is always there!
Yes, I'm not too old yet, but it feels like I've aged 20 years sometimes... I hear you there, I enjoy being single for now and my daughter is #1 priority and she takes up a lot of time. I'm not sure how single parents do it without help.
I've learned a lot... The best advice is to engage as little as possible and document everything in writing or have witnesses.
The good thing is my daughter is doing great. Super Dad is always there!
It's a tahoeyukon *support* forum. Sometimes that means fixing stuff outside our rides.
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Well, This is the " General Discussion "..... And is about an entire Yukon vehicle.....
( Not to mention this thread is a popular 30 pages, so what the heck - why not....
( Not to mention this thread is a popular 30 pages, so what the heck - why not....
