American Muscle vs Ricer

[TogaPC]

First off I'd like to say that I hardly ever do this. My Tahoe is a daily driver and I'm a pretty laid back guy on the road. I just can't stand Ricers.

On my way to get a strawberry shake at Wendy's, I came across a Honda 4 door with the fart can exhaust. He turned the same way I did so as we were cruising through town I got up beside him and goosed it a little to which he replied with the vicious trumpet of his inline 4. It was almost like he was going the same place I was as he turned into the very shopping center in which Wendy's was located, so being the ass that I am, I decided to pester him a bit.

I pulled up next to him and asked "whatcha runnin' under there" as redneck as I could. He started telling me the list of AutoZone mods he had made to turn his 4 door family sedan into a rice-mobile. I politely held back my snickers and listened intently. Once he was done I asked if he wanted to race. He asked what I had done to mine. I told him about my Corsa Cat Back exhaust and my Spectre Cold Air intake and my Black Bear Tune and afterwards he agreed to race.

I never fully understood why torque is so important untill today. 5 times we got side by side and 5 times I gave him a head start and 5 times I let off at 90 and he was nowhere in sight. I even gave him a car length at a red light and blew by him at 60 mph.

My Tahoe is by no means fast. I know it's not a race car and it will never be. But it seems so sad that my 4800 lb family hauler can walk all over this guys light weight tricked out ricer. If nothing else I hope that ricer-boy's girlfriend (who was in the passenger seat the entire time) got a little pleasure from the vibration of my thundering Vortec V-8 as I blew by, because if ricer-boy screws anything like he turns wrenches I'm sure she needs all the help she can get.

Next time I hope I have my video camera.

American Muscle FTW

 

[biggauges85]

don't get flustered too bad now...i know how ricers live in fairy tale world but you gotta cut them a little slack. i mean come on, obviously they aren't too bright in the first place.

my 99 yukon is pretty much stock and i've taken out enough ricers for people to know who i am. i live yuma,az. this town has more ricers than you can throw sand grains on someones sandwich. but i learned a long time ago that there are always naive uneducated people and they never stop popping up. and i hate to stereotype but the truth is most of them are young. i am kind of young myself but i have been a gearhead since i was ten and i grew up around around old muscle cars.

most of these kids get the deer caught in the headlights look if you ask them for a metric crescent wrench (obviously doesn't exist). so next time just teach one of em' a lesson. ask them to race for pinks. chances are they will back out and if they are stupid to race then when he loses word will spread. some kids are just hard headed and have to learn the hard way.

but be careful not to race the real tuners. and by real tuners i mean the guys with dbb 60 trim srt-4's or wrx sti's or supras or rx-8's. you will lose.

 

[TheBeast99]

awesome story bro
good thing you have a Black Bear tune.
my 99 Yukon is still stock too, so yay for 97mph governor. then again, i only race from 0-100 anyways - it's just my style. there's either a winner or a tie at that poiunt and that's that.

 

[Spencer2009]

ricers are good for one thing and one thing only, gas mileage. thats why i drive my stepdads '94 Corolla with 220,000 on it most of the times when i got to my girlfriends 50mi round trip so i dont rack up the miles on my hoe or put dent in my wallet. Hehehe, he dont mind filling up a 10 gallon tank

 

[JKmotorsports]

I hate ricers also, with a passion. I love it when they think their 4 bangers and v6's are fast just because they added Autozone mods and then they get spanked by a 5K+ lb suv. I pick on them every chance I get.
What part of Austin are you from, btw?

 

[Dylan]

I don't pick on anything in my truck, I just throw my weight around a little. In houston you gotta. There are some serious sleepers out there though even if they're 4 cylinder.

 

[blackcoffee]

Don't mind me a nice Honda, though good luck catching me driving one ha.

 

[HotCarl]

There is a difference between ricers and import tuners though guys. I hate true ricers, who think a 4 foot tall wing on a FWD car and type-r stickers give them 50 HP. They are morons.
However, a good buddy of mine had a built civic with a t3/t04 pushing 15 psi and ran 12's. It did feel like you were going to die when you rode in it however haha. He currently has an '05 STI and that thing is faaaaaast and handles like a dream. I'm not defending ricers, but don't be surprised when a v8 gets walked by a 4 cylinder.

 

[TheBeast99]

oh ya, there are definitely some I4's that are fast, as well as 6's.
it's all about that lovely power to weight ratio. you get that right and you're golden.
i laughed tho when my co-worker said his 92 Sentra is pretty fast. and since it's modded up decently, i agreed with him. but then i retorted "ya, but could tow 4 of your Cracker-Jack toy cars with my Yukon. can YOU do that?"
>:-]

 

[magnahoe]

I just embarrassed a guy in a civic on my way home. He was driving stupid weaving in and out of people. we pulled up to a stop sign and he tried to pass me on the right, i stomped on it and smoked him. I was stopping at all the stop signs while he wans't and still got to the end of the road first. Less weight doesn't make up for non-existing torque.

 

[Arctic-Rodz]

oh ricers.... lol they are a midnight snack for my 08 Sierra

 

[magnahoe]

oh ricers.... lol they are a midnight snack for my 08 Sierra

Yeah, friend has a 09 Sierra those hall.

 

[grimm]

i definitely agree that there is a difference between a "ricer" and a tuner. ricers usually have thee crappiest possible rims, cheap, tacky decals, and transformer bodykits that look so, so grotesque, not to mention nothing actually done to their cars to make them any faster, only louder. i had a 77 porsche 911 back in the day, not the fastest car ever by any means, but it was pretty damn quick. i've raced many cars, but the only car to ever completely blow me away was a white twin turbo supra. after we raced, we pulled over and he popped the hood.... lots of work done to it. he even showed me his dyno sheet (he had it dyno'ed and tuned that day) and he was making like 750 hp to the wheels.

anyways, i pissed off a dude in a riced out honda accord this morning on my way to work because he was trying as hard as he possibly could to pass me up and beat me to the bridge toll plaza (why? i have no clue...). but i was hardly trying and he still eventually ended up being a tiny reflection in my rear view mirror

 

[ravingmadman]

I love my ricer, and it will smoke anything here. It can do 82MPH without shifting out of the first of 6 gears, and goes from naught to 60 in less than 5 seconds. It only makes 105HP at the rear wheels, but it has a redline of 16,000RPM, and only weighs 350lbs. I love my 2006 GSXR600.

My favorite part about my truck is that I can walk almost any honda out there, even with my ridiculously short gears, and still climb my front wheel up on their hood if they want to get twitchy on me. And I agree that there is a huge difference between ricers and tuners. Tuners work on very well kept hondas, subarus, maseratis, lamborghinis, etc. Ricers work on their mom's rusted out oldsmobile or their friend's falling apart mazda, and will never see under the hood of a car costing more than $5K.

Tuners tune for performance with beauty as a necessity but as an afterthought, and rarely say much. Typically their numbers and performance speak louder than their words.

Ricers tack a coffee can to their exhaust tip, zip a wing into the trunk with self-tappers, change the tail lights out for euro lights they got from the pawn shop, and try to assert their dominance through wanton verbiage, and annoying music. Obviously decibel level is directly proportioned to performance in the ricer's mind, be it exhaust note, bass volume, or cat call.

Typically a ricer can be observed with his "pants on the ground," talking and bullying next to his (almost always) parked car. If you are unfortunate enough to catch one on the road, they are typically seen spinning a (only one) wheel on a patch of wet pavement to show how powerful their unmodified grocery getter is, or standing unnecessarily on the accelerator pedal to emit an exhaust note that sounds almost fantastic from within the confines of the teensy passenger space, but sounds not unlike the bleating of a castrated sheep to everyone within a dozen blocks.

Typically their vehicles are a multitude of unmatched primer colors from the bodywork they paid for buy borrowing against their allowance from their parents, or mowing laws. Rarely after adding bodywork do the ricers have the funds available for a bad paint job.

You may also find the ricer's vehicle damaged on one or both sides, missing mirrors typically from sliding into the conrete retaining wall on the freeway after losing control of the primative machine that was designed to be just powerful enough for a soccer mom, or daily commute. It is truly awe-inspiring how one could lose control of such a tepid machine, but alas, the industrious ricer never allows what can be repaired with more self-tappers and duct tape to stand in the way of the machine they believe is their ticket to sex, money, and a total freedom from responsibility.

 

[TheBeast99]

very well written madman!

 

[T-Bagg]

First off I'd like to say that I hardly ever do this. My Tahoe is a daily driver and I'm a pretty laid back guy on the road. I just can't stand Ricers.

If nothing else I hope that ricer-boy's girlfriend (who was in the passenger seat the entire time) got a little pleasure from the vibration of my thundering Vortec V-8 as I blew by, because if ricer-boy screws anything like he turns wrenches I'm sure she needs all the help she can get.

American Muscle FTW

I've had a couple girls get physically aroused from the way my engine vibrates the truck. And when they tell me... I get physically aroused.


NO REPLACEMENT FOR DISPLACEMENT.

 

[biggauges85]

beast 99, sucks about that 97 mph speed governor. i constantly forget about that. but then again i have a former DPS (department of public safety) vehicle (similar to CHP in cali). so i don't have that governor!

so to the ricers while i enjoy unlimited vortec power!

 

[kope]

oh ricers.... lol they are a midnight snack for my 08 Sierra

+2 my dad has an 09 sierra 3500, quad cad long box, and to top it off he put a full 4 inch exhuast and new PCM to bypass the particulate filter and extra smog junk, the new setup added like 100hp and 150 torque. anyways a buddy of mine just bought a new Cobalt SS, and wanted to race...it was like he was on a peddle bike.

 

[blackcoffee]

I've taken this old thing past 120mph I'm sure. That's with the governor removed. On mud tires ha. Its quite a rush.

 

[biggauges85]

black coffee, whats the top speed with no governor? my speedo only goes to 100 but my speedo goes past the 100 mph mark by about .5 to .75 of an inch and keeps accelerating so i have no way of knowing my actual speed. and are they actually able to redline? mine just stops at 6k rpm with no redline.