Totally sad to read this. My wife of 50 years passed this past October. Aggressive cancer, and she died in the ER, waiting to be seen. I totally understand, my Friend.
In mid-April, I'm going to spread some of her ashes on some Cape Cod beaches that she loved. In May, I'll spread some more of her ashes on a mountain top in the Adirondacks, near where we camped at for 36 straight years. Last, I'm going to spread the remainder of her ashes on my property and her herb garden, since she repeatedly said that this was the only and last place on earth that she would ever live.
Going to be tough days for sure, but I'm hoping to reach some level of closure on my life with her.