the red wire is for either trailer hitch power or trailer brake controller power (i don't recal which) but it is one of those, the other red wire is on the side of the fuse box nearest the fender.
and yes that is the relay for the pump, so part of the problem solved.
not sure why it's not responding to the tech2 it shouldn't matter if anything is connected to it or not it has no way of knowing the difference other than air pressure that would be there if the shock air hose were hooked up.
you might read thru the fuse listings in the owners manual and see if any of them are for the suspension or air pump and check those, I know there is at least one because there is a trick people do by disconnecting the battery and pulling a fuse to make it not see the air pump anymore making part of the errors go away,