Anything else besides this stupid idea?
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it's not a stupid idea, generally speaking doing this "should" work, provided there was just a glitch of some type and it just needed to be rebooted, did you even try it?
besides just touching the cables together while you have the battery disconnected stick the key in the ignition and turn it to start a couple times and turn the headlight switch on/off a few times and perhaps even let it sit for a few minutes disconnected as well, this will kill any static power that may be remaining.
before insulting someone, at least give them the benefit of the doubt and try it and tell us if it worked or not, then we can proceed to more in depth diagnostics.
at this point we don't even know if you attempted it and are just being repugnant.