CLOSE CALLS? Whos got a story? I DO

[WHITEOUT]

I posted this up in TyBardy thread, but thought I would share with everyone. I hate the drivers in PHX. I live in Phx, and have my fair share of **********, old people and Rich Cougars to avoid. Luckily, nothing so far. KNOCk, KNOCK(wood). I did have a close one the other day. This HUGE douchebag changed 3 lanes into my lane, and proceeded to hit his brakes. Well of course, I got extremely pissed, I also had my family in the car, with my girl, and 1 year old son. So, never the less, I honked and bagen flipping the guy off. So.. He decided to literally slam on his brakes in the middle of the road. I pretty much "KISSED" his car.

Well luckinly I didn't "spike" him with the spikes I have upfront, would have been funny though. Good thing it was at an angle. SPIKES BABY. LOL Well, at this point I am furious. So. I jumped out of my Hoe, girl wasn't happy with me about that, I have a temper sometimes, and began to approach this ediot. Come to find out, he is a Douchebag!! You guys know who I'm talking about!! IE. tight "AFFLICTION" shirt(his head almost exploided) bulging steroid muscles, square toed shoes, faded jeans, Douchy haircut, and all around Douchebag isims.. I had to post his pic!! sorry

Well I punked the fuq out of this guy, right in his face, belly bumped him, finger in his face, and began to yell or"spit" say it don't spray it, right in his face,. Dude got luckily my girl finally pulled me back cause I was pissed, and I usually hit first and ask questions later.. Well, he called the cops on me, wouldn't move his car out of the road, and blocked me from moving from cars behind, stuck in the main road on Tatum and T-Bird, for anyone who knows this area, very busy road. He tried to say I hit his car, and assulted him. Once the cop arrives, A women cop by the way which I usually don't get along with, she sided with me about how Douchebaggy he was, especially since he wouldn't move his car out of traffic and I was stuck, and he was being an ahole about everything, especially to her!! I ragged on him SO bad about his tight shirt infront of that cop, she almost busted up laughing. Anyways, nothing happened to me, just got the "he could have had a gun" speech from the cop. Then i told her, "tell him the same thing, cause I do have a gun on me!!!" I have a CCW permit, she was alittle surprised, but I live in the Wild West!! I love AZ sometimes. Only thing that came out of this incident, he got punked and he got posted on the net under **********.com. Hope it gets posted. LOL, HILARIOUS!!! Let me hear your stories. Hope you guys get a laugh out of mine

 

[Anthony]

Fun fact of the day: Most people are idots/d-bags

 

[Effeckt]

2 things I already knew about this story since I'm from Phoenix as well.

1) The majority of Phoenix residents drive like morons.

2) Just about every Affliction wearing guy (at least locally) thinks he's some big bad ass. Usually they are a tool like above mentioned driver.

 

[Modded]

I posted this up in TyBardy thread, but thought I would share with everyone. I hate the drivers in PHX. I live in Phx, and have my fair share of **********, old people and Rich Cougars to avoid. Luckily, nothing so far. KNOCk, KNOCK(wood). I did have a close one the other day. This HUGE douchebag changed 3 lanes into my lane, and proceeded to hit his brakes. Well of course, I got extremely pissed, I also had my family in the car, with my girl, and 1 year old son. So, never the less, I honked and bagen flipping the guy off. So.. He decided to literally slam on his brakes in the middle of the road. I pretty much "KISSED" his car.

Well luckinly I didn't "spike" him with the spikes I have upfront, would have been funny though. Good thing it was at an angle. SPIKES BABY. LOL Well, at this point I am furious. So. I jumped out of my Hoe, girl wasn't happy with me about that, I have a temper sometimes, and began to approach this ediot. Come to find out, he is a Douchebag!! You guys know who I'm talking about!! IE. tight "AFFLICTION" shirt(his head almost exploided) bulging steroid muscles, square toed shoes, faded jeans, Douchy haircut, and all around Douchebag isims.. I had to post his pic!! sorry

Well I punked the fuq out of this guy, right in his face, belly bumped him, finger in his face, and began to yell or"spit" say it don't spray it, right in his face,. Dude got luckily my girl finally pulled me back cause I was pissed, and I usually hit first and ask questions later.. Well, he called the cops on me, wouldn't move his car out of the road, and blocked me from moving from cars behind, stuck in the main road on Tatum and T-Bird, for anyone who knows this area, very busy road. He tried to say I hit his car, and assulted him. Once the cop arrives, A women cop by the way which I usually don't get along with, she sided with me about how Douchebaggy he was, especially since he wouldn't move his car out of traffic and I was stuck, and he was being an ahole about everything, especially to her!! I ragged on him SO bad about his tight shirt infront of that cop, she almost busted up laughing. Anyways, nothing happened to me, just got the "he could have had a gun" speech from the cop. Then i told her, "tell him the same thing, cause I do have a gun on me!!!" I have a CCW permit, she was alittle surprised, but I live in the Wild West!! I love AZ sometimes. Only thing that came out of this incident, he got punked and he got posted on the net under **********.com. Hope it gets posted. LOL, HILARIOUS!!! Let me hear your stories. Hope you guys get a laugh out of mine

It would have took me everything I had not to punch that d-bag smack dead in the nose and knock his head off the map!!
A while ago I was leaving school with some friends and some d-bag further down the road that leads to our school pulled up beside me and started swerving because I accidentally cut him off, He was yelling and throwing the finger religiously too, then he started trying to hit my car wit his, which is one of the perfect ways to make me catch a case!!
SO we get to the red light and I let the window down and told him to chill before I get out, he continued.....
So I got out the car and started smacking his window/hood to make him get out, he acted like he was reaching under the seat so I ran to the trunk and pulled out my aluminum bat and told him if he points (he def. won't use it though) a gun at me I would smash his whole car right now in front of everyone!!
People at the red light intersection were in amazement lol!

 

[kickitandholdit]

HAAAAAAA!!!! hilarious once i started reading about you describing him i couldnt stop laughing! i absolutely hate those kind of guys. great story haha love it.
i have been arrested street racing and all kinds of stuff but my fav story is.. well if you knew me im a real fan of treat people the way you want to be treated. well this guy got mad at me in the parking lot and was in his truck hollering at me and im sitting here talking to my friends ignoring him and he decides to push my buttons and he puts it in gear and bumps my car trying to get my attention well at this point he had my attention so i grabbed my mag light and he tried to ride off and so i hop in my old body style tahoe with a brush guard on it that is about 2'' thick and chased him through the parking lot and when he slowed down to pull out of the parking lot WHAM!!!! i slammed my brush guard into the back of him and pancaked his bumper and he floored it trying to get away so i turned around and finished my conversation with my friends haha

 

[WHITEOUT]

Ya, AZ sucks for drivers. But I am a local guy, and gotta say, it's all these out of staters that make it difficult. But besides that, everyone thinks they own the road here, no courtesy what so ever out here Modded-that's pretty good, 1 out of 10 will actually shoot(I'm that 1, that's why I "try" not to pull my gun unless no other resort is necessary), others should have there gun taken and be pistol whipped with there own gun for acting like they are gonna do something. I hate D-bags!!!!!!!

---------- Post added at 01:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:05 AM ----------

HAAAAAAA!!!! hilarious once i started reading about you describing him i couldnt stop laughing! i absolutely hate those kind of guys. great story haha love it.
i have been arrested street racing and all kinds of stuff but my fav story is.. well if you knew me im a real fan of treat people the way you want to be treated. well this guy got mad at me in the parking lot and was in his truck hollering at me and im sitting here talking to my friends ignoring him and he decides to push my buttons and he puts it in gear and bumps my car trying to get my attention well at this point he had my attention so i grabbed my mag light and he tried to ride off and so i hop in my old body style tahoe with a brush guard on it that is about 2'' thick and chased him through the parking lot and when he slowed down to pull out of the parking lot WHAM!!!! i slammed my brush guard into the back of him and pancaked his bumper and he floored it trying to get away so i turned around and finished my conversation with my friends haha

THAT'S HILARIOUS!!! Now that's what a brush guards for!!!
I totally agree with you. I use to be a wild hot head, and been in way more then my share of fights, and actually like it. But as you get older, like you said, treat people the way you want to be treated. But some people, mostly D-bags, don't get it, and push the wrong buttons. Gotta say, if my kid wasn't in the car, I would have fd that guy up with no hesitation, and would have been worth going to jail over, atleast the last fool I fought was worth the consequence!!! Too many fools are talk. BRING IT DON'T SING IT!!

I like the stories guys, keep them coming, HILARIOUS STUFF!!

 

[Rivieraracing]

I had a situation like that 2 weeks ago while driving to work, lets just say that I left him speechless and embarassed when he originally thought he was a bad ass!! I was soooooo pissed but my words were perfect!! Don't try to smart ass a smart ass, it just doesn't work!!
Thanks for the story!!

 

[Modded]

,,,,,,,,,,, 1 out of 10 will actually shoot(I'm that 1, that's why I "try" not to pull my gun unless no other resort is necessary), others should have there gun taken and be pistol whipped with there own gun for acting like they are gonna do something.....

That just gave me the laugh of the night, I would def. try and take someone gun and slap them a few times with it, then keep the gun to myself lol!

 

[WHITEOUT]

I had a situation like that 2 weeks ago while driving to work, lets just say that I left him speechless and embarassed when he originally thought he was a bad ass!! I was soooooo pissed but my words were perfect!! Don't try to smart ass a smart ass, it just doesn't work!!
Thanks for the story!!

You hit the nail on the head. Like you said, words will leave them speechless, especially a D-bag. Once I knew he didn't want to fight me, the smarta** in me let it go, and the ragging ensued!!! Perfect quote- "Don't try to smart ass a smart ass, it just doesn't work" Leaving em dumber then shirt did!!LOL

 

[Effeckt]

Alright so here's one story I can think of. It's an oldie (I was like 21 at the time or so). I was at Desert Ridge (for you locals). Basically a big outdoor shopping mall, tons of restaurants, theater, etc. on my way out to my car. The walk way was completely packed and there wasn't a lot of walking room. So I'm walking on the street right next to the edge of the sidewalk. This 60 year old guy in his Lexus is approaching with no other oncoming traffic in the parking lot proceeds to drive as close to the curb as possible and ends up hitting me with his car and driving over my foot. I'm sure some of you are wondering why I didn't move over. Two reasons really, one I figured like most people he would be courteous and move over since NO ONE was coming. Two, there are these large bush like trees on the edge of the sidewalk (4 feet square or so) and thus the reason I was on the edge in the first place. At this point I'm pissed as this jerk had no common decency to move over so I proceed to take my two fists and pile drive them into his hood. Of course this makes the guy mad and he gets out of his car and into my face about it. I was simply in shock that some old guy wanted to come up against me and a bunch of my friends. So after going off on him about him hitting me with the car I tell him to get his old wrinkly self back into the car before I make him. All the while his wife is screaming at him to get back in the car. Needless to say he finally listened so I refrained from making it worse than it could have been.

 

[Cartwright]

I hate AZ drivers with a passion. Ive never had so much roadrage from idiotic people and I grew up in CA. I hate driving in the rain here because everyone drives like its a full blown blizzard.

 

[Rivieraracing]

Yeah, when the guy pulled up next to me, I was almost sure he was gonna pull a gun because of all that had happened before that and because he looked like the kind of country boy that would, just got lucky I guess!! He decided to make the first smart ass remark and I lashed back at him with an even better one (for as pissed off as I was it came out perfect) and then I continued to belittle him while he just sat there in his big truck absolutely speechless, I've never seen someones ego drop so fast in such a short bit of time!! I'm not a little guy by any means and boy if you set me off I go crazy, since I was driving my wifes Jetta I know he thought I was just a punk ass little guy until I rolled down the window!! I will never forget the look on his face, the guy I help out by carpooling to work with couldn't stop laughing (he's not a little guy either!).
Here's my public service announcement tonight, don't speed up only because someone is passing you, you never know what you are gonna get!!

 

[Modded]

Alright so here's one story I can think of. It's an oldie (I was like 21 at the time or so). I was at Desert Ridge (for you locals). Basically a big outdoor shopping mall, tons of restaurants, theater, etc. on my way out to my car. The walk way was completely packed and there wasn't a lot of walking room. So I'm walking on the street right next to the edge of the sidewalk. This 60 year old guy in his Lexus is approaching with no other oncoming traffic in the parking lot proceeds to drive as close to the curb as possible and ends up hitting me with his car and driving over my foot. I'm sure some of you are wondering why I didn't move over. Two reasons really, one I figured like most people he would be courteous and move over since NO ONE was coming. Two, there are these large bush like trees on the edge of the sidewalk (4 feet square or so) and thus the reason I was on the edge in the first place. At this point I'm pissed as this jerk had no common decency to move over so I proceed to take my two fists and pile drive them into his hood. Of course this makes the guy mad and he gets out of his car and into my face about it. I was simply in shock that some old guy wanted to come up against me and a bunch of my friends. So after going off on him about him hitting me with the car I tell him to get his old wrinkly self back into the car before I make him. All the while his wife is screaming at him to get back in the car. Needless to say he finally listened so I refrained from making it worse than it could have been.

LMAO Effeckt that is a classic!!
I would have been stunned, but I would not do anything to him though, just laugh..........

 

[Rivieraracing]

Alright so here's one story I can think of. It's an oldie (I was like 21 at the time or so). I was at Desert Ridge (for you locals). Basically a big outdoor shopping mall, tons of restaurants, theater, etc. on my way out to my car. The walk way was completely packed and there wasn't a lot of walking room. So I'm walking on the street right next to the edge of the sidewalk. This 60 year old guy in his Lexus is approaching with no other oncoming traffic in the parking lot proceeds to drive as close to the curb as possible and ends up hitting me with his car and driving over my foot. I'm sure some of you are wondering why I didn't move over. Two reasons really, one I figured like most people he would be courteous and move over since NO ONE was coming. Two, there are these large bush like trees on the edge of the sidewalk (4 feet square or so) and thus the reason I was on the edge in the first place. At this point I'm pissed as this jerk had no common decency to move over so I proceed to take my two fists and pile drive them into his hood. Of course this makes the guy mad and he gets out of his car and into my face about it. I was simply in shock that some old guy wanted to come up against me and a bunch of my friends. So after going off on him about him hitting me with the car I tell him to get his old wrinkly self back into the car before I make him. All the while his wife is screaming at him to get back in the car. Needless to say he finally listened so I refrained from making it worse than it could have been.

That's some funny crap man, you sound alot like myself but especially a good friend of mine, he has a ton of stories like that!! He has a light switch for a temper just like mine, just his is easier to flip on!!
These great stories are making me laugh big time, bringing back so many stories that I've been a part of as well as some of my friends!!

 

[Yuk_Nali_6.0]

Only a douche (or a woman) would drive an equinox.

 

[kickitandholdit]

Ya, AZ sucks for drivers. But I am a local guy, and gotta say, it's all these out of staters that make it difficult. But besides that, everyone thinks they own the road here, no courtesy what so ever out here Modded-that's pretty good, 1 out of 10 will actually shoot(I'm that 1, that's why I "try" not to pull my gun unless no other resort is necessary), others should have there gun taken and be pistol whipped with there own gun for acting like they are gonna do something. I hate D-bags!!!!!!!

---------- Post added at 01:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:05 AM ----------



THAT'S HILARIOUS!!! Now that's what a brush guards for!!!
I totally agree with you. I use to be a wild hot head, and been in way more then my share of fights, and actually like it. But as you get older, like you said, treat people the way you want to be treated. But some people, mostly D-bags, don't get it, and push the wrong buttons. Gotta say, if my kid wasn't in the car, I would have fd that guy up with no hesitation, and would have been worth going to jail over, atleast the last fool I fought was worth the consequence!!! Too many fools are talk. BRING IT DON'T SING IT!!

I like the stories guys, keep them coming, HILARIOUS STUFF!!

yea i have always tried to go by that but every now and then i get hot and do stupid stuff. i had a boy steel my phone from me in automotive class and i grabbed his jacket and pulled him over to me and i got my phone out of his pocket and he didnt like that so he swung at me and i leaned back and his fist came right by my face and then i happened to have a tire iron in my hand and i grabbed him by the throat and pushed him up against the car lift and reared back with the tire iron... picture this.. southern white kid holding a big black kid with dread locks and everything by the throat.. his throat was about at my eye level.. and i was rearing back with a tire iron and my budy grabs me by my jacket and the arm that was holding the tire iron and pulls me off and then this boy starts apologizing and shit haha and that kid to this day still gets made fun of for being put in his place by the little white boy in automotive class haha

 

[Eagle]

2 years ago on Christmas eve day my fam and i were at the local strip mall, in the wife's Geo Prizm. We were looking for a parking spot in one of the rows, and waiting behind several cars at an in-parking-lot stop sign. All of a sudden the car jumps about 2 feet in the air on the passenger side. Yep, some old **** got in his pickup truck and just backed up into my wife's car despite there being traffic (lots of it) stopped behind him.

Did I mention my wife's car was custom painted GM Fusion Orange Metallic? Did I mention it was about 11 am, 65 degrees and sunny as hell? How the **** do you miss that in your sideview mirror?
Then the old guy asks if we can keep it off the insurance ( of course, he had no damage!) and offers my wife $50 cash. She asked me if it was OK, (I was trying to stay out of it, since it was her first accident and I was letting her handle it as a learning experience) and I looked him in the eye and told him $50 wouldn't buy a quart of ******* paint, much less replace the quarterpanel and was he trying to be insulting? I pointed out that he had just backed into the rear passenger door where my (then) infant son was sitting. When I asked for his insurance and driver's license he got ALL in a huff and so did his wife. When I started taking pictures... "Hurry up then, I have things to do, it's Christmas Eve" - him.

For the record, ******* allstate sucks ass. If I ever get in an accident with someone with allstate insurance again, I'm calling their company right then and there to report the accident and having them acknowledge it on the phone RIGHT THEN... those mother ******* won;t pay a dime until the policy holder agrees/reports that yes, they did have an accident and they were at fault. I think it took a week or so before he finally admitted he had an accident...


-------------------------------------------------

I had people completely miss my MGB in there mirrors and pull over into my lane I dunno HOW many times. Sometimes I just couldn't blame them, the thing was only about 29 inches high. That is where i developed my point and shoot, no blind spot riding, be the faster car on the road/ left lane driving style. I can understand how it happens... I've almost done it a couple of times

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also almost took out a couple of motorcyclists one night in my TSi AWD. They had just left a light that I caught green and we were goign uphill so I had a closing rate on them of about 40 mph. Somehow I just KNEW one of these bandana wearing stretched chopper ********** was going to cut to the right and into my lane... When he started to change lanes (no signal, no look, jsut a lean over) he was about even with my front bumper.

PSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT> 18 psi of boost escaped from my Greddy Type S blow off valve, Mr chopper heard that over his "I'm a Douchebag narcissist" brand open exhaust and snapped back to the left so hard he dragged pipe and almost was thrown off his bike, which started pogo-ing left and right repeatedly... Funniest shit ever. Like watching a drunk on the mechanical bull!

The two thought Harleys made them bad asses and pulled up on about 6 inches from either side of my car 'boxing me in" at the next light, revving their engines, making angry gestures, etc. And the other guy started giving me shit about MY driving, about having to be careful around motorcycles as if it were my fault he was in imbecile.
The guy started yelling something about ME having to be careful because bikes were so much faster than my car... Huh? Did you not just almost get hit by faster traffic? They were both yelling from both sides, revving their engines etc. I ignored them.

The light turned green, and one of them tried to get in front of me while the other started crowding me from one side. Yeah, that didn;t work to good since I could keep up with their bikes easily.

At the next light, more of the same... I was tired of it, and I rolled down the window and straight up told him "Learn to ride your motorcycle, buy mufflers, some turn signals and mirrors, and learn to use them. Your bikes are SLOW, you need to look out for other drivers, it was your fault."

Then I showed him what 0-60 in 4.3 seconds looks like and embarrassed the hell out of his 'fast bike'.

 

[Rivieraracing]

I gotta stop reading stories like the ones you are putting up in here, I could tell a ton of stories very similar, glad to know I'm not the only one!!

 

[Modded]

2 years ago on Christmas eve day my fam and i were at the local strip mall, in the wife's Geo Prizm. We were looking for a parking spot in one of the rows, and waiting behind several cars at an in-parking-lot stop sign. All of a sudden the car jumps about 2 feet in the air on the passenger side. Yep, some old **** got in his pickup truck and just backed up into my wife's car despite there being traffic (lots of it) stopped behind him.

Did I mention my wife's car was custom painted GM Fusion Orange Metallic? Did I mention it was about 11 am, 65 degrees and sunny as hell? How the **** do you miss that in your sideview mirror?
Then the old guy asks if we can keep it off the insurance ( of course, he had no damage!) and offers my wife $50 cash. She asked me if it was OK, (I was trying to stay out of it, since it was her first accident and I was letting her handle it as a learning experience) and I looked him in the eye and told him $50 wouldn't buy a quart of ******* paint, much less replace the quarterpanel and was he trying to be insulting? I pointed out that he had just backed into the rear passenger door where my (then) infant son was sitting. When I asked for his insurance and driver's license he got ALL in a huff and so did his wife. When I started taking pictures... "Hurry up then, I have things to do, it's Christmas Eve" - him.

For the record, ******* allstate sucks ass. If I ever get in an accident with someone with allstate insurance again, I'm calling their company right then and there to report the accident and having them acknowledge it on the phone RIGHT THEN... those mother ******* won;t pay a dime until the policy holder agrees/reports that yes, they did have an accident and they were at fault. I think it took a week or so before he finally admitted he had an accident...

I had people completely miss my MGB in there mirrors and pull over into my lane I dunno HOW many times. Sometimes I just couldn't blame them, the thing was only about 29 inches high. That is where i developed my point and shoot, no blind spot riding, be the faster car on the road/ left lane driving style.

I also almost took out a couple of motorcyclists one night in my TSi AWD. They had just left a red light that I caught green and we were goign uphill so I had a closing rate on them of about 40 mph, and somehow I just KNEW one of these bandana wearing stretched chopper ********** was going to cut to the right and into my lane... When he started to change lanes (no signal, no look, jsut a lean over) he was about even with my front bumper.

PSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT> 18 psi of boost escaped from my Greddy Type S blow off valve, Mr chopper heard that over his "I'm a Douchebag narcissist" brand open exhaust and snapped back to the left so hard he dragged pipe and almost was thrown off his bike, which started pogo-ing left and right repeatedly... Funniest shit ever. Like watching a drunk on the mechanical bull

The two thought Harleys made them bad asses and pulled up on about 6 inches from either side of my car 'boxing me in" at the next light, revving their engines, making angry gestures, etc. And the other guy started giving me shit about MY driving, about having to be careful around motorcycles as if it were my fault he was in imbecile.
The guy started yelling something about ME having to be careful becasue bikes were so much faster than my car... Huh? They were both yelling from both sicdes, revving their engines etc.

The light turned green, and one of them tried to get in front of me while the other started crowding me from one side. Yeah, that didn;t work to good since I could keep up with their bikes easily.

At hte next light, more of the same... I was tired of it, and I straight up told him "Learn to ride your motorcycle, buy mufflers, some turn signals and mirrors, and learn to use them. Your bikes are SLOW, you need to look out for other drivers, it was your fault."

Then I showed him what 0-60 in 4.3 seconds looks like and embarrassed the hell out of his 'fast bike'.

If someone hit my bike, talkless of car, and then offfered me $50 I would pretty much feel like slapping the mess out of them!!
Wouldn't though, just call the good ol cops.

 

[Max]

Nobody ***** with me, haven't had a close call in years. Some dude followed me to the park one time I think he was checking out my truck but he seemed nefarious. Needless to say he took off once I jumped out of the truck and let the 90lb german shepherd out the back. Walk softly and carry a big stick, a big dog, and lots of guns in a big black truck